When you can’t fight, Now what?

Earlier today, the Cardinals and the Reds had one of the first benches clearing brawls of the 2021 baseball season.

With baseball’s COVID rules,any sort of baseball fight is now something that can get you ejected and heavily fined. Because of this, it takes the fun out of some classic baseball brawls for the foreseeable future. So the question becomes, if the players can’t fight and point fingers aggressively at each other, what options are there?

I thought I’d share a few ideas.

A Scramble Between the Two People Arguing


The XFL might have had it right, where you’re staring the game, two players were going to scramble (aka sprint) and then wrestle for the ball. The winning player’s team got the ball.

What if we do this for baseball? Two players who have started the argument are going to sprint from first to second, where a baseball is placed. Whoever wins the wrestling match for the ball gets a run for their team, and a hearty apology from the opposing player.

Hot Dog Eating Contest

According to Google…

The reigning champ, Joey Chestnut, holds the world record for the most hot dogs eaten at 73. That’s equivalent to about 16 pounds

Each team picks a player currently in the game for a 5 minute all you can eat hot dog extravaganza. Winner is either whoever doesn’t puke, or who eats the most in that time.

And yes, buns count.

Sunflower Seed Spitting for Distance

I think we can always consider the different benefits of flavors and brands (dill pickle, is the clear winner) but having two players spit sunflower seeds for distance. Obviously we’ll be socially distanced here.

The game is simple, spit the sunflower seed, winner gets bragging rights, and again a hearty apology from the losing player.

Those are my ideas to avoid bench clearing brawls during the baseball season, but to still let us know who would win the argument and who would lose.

What about you? Any thoughts?

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